Two Fingers And A Thumb

You can eat chicken wings,  you can roll a joint, you can click the replay button on the Kate Upton “Cat Daddy” Video as many times as you like (though we know you only need one finger for this important task, two fingers and a thumb guarantee maximum efficiency), you can “pwn” bitches on World of Warcraft, and you can carry a six-pack of beer. Did we miss something?

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Front Page Scrotum

How embarrassing! I was not expecting my balls to make the front page.

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Headline Of The Week

Pfff, back in our day, college girls used their soggy holes on a daily basis. Old news.

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Back Where They Belong

Sure, they’re back where they belong, but we don’t see any sandwiches being made! And seriously, what does it take to get a steak cooking too?

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Ungrateful Locals

C’mon Kevin, it can’t be that bad! You look like Shia LaBeouf. You should be getting all the ladies. But Brittany Wellman, on the other hand,  you clearly don’t know what you’re talking about. Super Troopers should be at the top of your wish list.

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Is Your Bucket List Better Than His?

We think we just found another addition to the weareuncivilized team. Welcome aboard, Aaron.

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That’s A Guilty Face

Just look at him. He makes us sick! Looks like he’ll be missing the comedy festival this year.

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The FBI’s On The Case

There is a slight chance you may have come across the Scarlett Johansson nude shots on our blog, or perhaps on every other blog on the Internet right now. And it seems the elegant star is taking this breach of privacy quite seriously, calling in the FBI to get to the bottom of things. It looks like you got some work to do, FBI,  because every dude on the web is wayyy ahead of you on the case, but I’m sure you’ll be working as hard as we are.

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Magnus Has The Solution

Oh no, it’s not swimming with animals or playing with arts and crafts. What the country desperately needs is magnets! We think you’re onto something, Magnus. Melbourne is on the road to prosperity.

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Take That, Larry!

“I told you so, Larry! You can take your stupid mustache and suck it!”

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